Mom and Wife

The hardest thing about school is not the homework and tests, it's trying to balance school, wife, and mother commitments. Take yesterday for example, it was just a hell of a day-I worked, picked up my daughter from school, took a short nap and then started some homework. I got caught up in writing a paper so when my husband got home at 7:00 I hadn't even started dinner. He was carping about being hungry and I felt guilty about not having dinner ready. To complicate matters, my daughter had a meltdown about a computer game being too hard. I don't think I have mentioned that my daughter is autistic; she not like Rain Man or anything, she is fairly high functioning. I was beaten down by the paper writing, then the husband whining about being hungry, then the massive meltdown, and then just being hungry myself; I was ready for a meltdown.

I finally put together some leftovers for us to eat and my daughter comes into the kitchen and starts whining and crying about the computer game again. I was at the end of my rope; I said if she was so angry about a game and it was making her crazy then no more computer games for the night. Well that started another meltdown. Great. Now I have to live with the consequence for the rest of the evening...her whining about not playing on the computer. For the love of God, I just wanted to finish my dinner and homework so I could watch Lost!

By the time it is 10:00, I was mentally and physically wiped out and I crashed about 10:15. Around midnight my husband gets into bed and starts rubbing my arm and back, like he wants some! He woke me up and starts saying, "Can't I do something for you." I said, "No, I am fucking sleeping." He gets all pissed off and says, "You don't want anything to do with me." Your Goddamn right I don't, I'm exhausted! By then I was fully awake and I didn't fall back to sleep until after 3:30, so today I'm wiped out.

So yesterday the only thing I succeeded in was being a shitty mom and wife. Oh, I did write a paper.